Friday, April 28, 2023

Changing The Narative


A watercolour of an alleyway between 2 buildings.

It's not in my nature to let people down.

I had to cancel an agency appointment for next week because I have accepted a full time job and as part of that process I needed to commit some time to that. I feel bad about letting down the work agency but in the last 8 months I have been trying to find a full time job with no success.
Other jobs that I did successfully find didn't turn out to be what was described at the interview stage and I had to decline the offers. For so long it seems that people are less than honest when it comes to giving accurate descriptions of work roles. I'm not sure why that is. It certainly isn't productive to have an employee find out that things aren't going to be as expected and waste time on time consuming interviews. I made myself a promise after my last experiences and that was to only work for a company that I had temped for, and liked or to only accept a job I really wanted.
The latter is the case this time around and I'm determined not to mess things up by letting other stuff get in the way.

And so I find myself in the position of letting someone down to pursue my own ambitions. While it still feels wrong I know it must be done this way. The job I had to leave in August last year was something I had been doing for the same company for 15 years. It was a hard blow to have been treated so unfairly after such a long commitment. I learned the hard way that for loyalty to my employer there was no such loyalty in return.

Maybe I should be more 'hard nosed' when it comes to decisions but I prefer to treat people fairly and in the same way that I would expect to be treated.
I do find that all too often, as mentioned above, my ethos is not reciprocated.
Maybe I should make myself another promise now and that should be to treat people in the way that they treat me, let them make the first move, but I don't think that I can change my attitude that readily.

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